Veronica Mendes

Veronica Mendes
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Saturday, June 30, 2012

I am NOT confused about my gender identity anymore!!!

What draws us to want to wear clothing of the opposite sex? Now there's the Million-Dollar question!

I could not fathom having sex with another male (Eww), nor could I imagine having a surgery to remove my manhood. I can't imagine not being a husband and lover to my wife and a daddy to my two little princesses.
Yet, after a near 30+ year struggle with my identity and emotions and coming to accept who and what I am, I cannot imagine my life without the possibility of occasionally becoming Toni, either fully or in part.
I owe an incredible thank you to my T-sisters for the knowledge and inspiration I have drawn from their experiences and stories.

Just a few short years ago, "Toni" did not even exist. All I ever did was hide and partially dress up with the constant fear of being caught. Toni now occupies the part of my life that used to be only a cloud of desires, emotions, confusion and fear. I'm purposely omitting thoughts about my inner struggles between my TG issues and my Catholic faith, because that is an entirely different and MUCH larger can of worms.

Thanks to my lovely and understanding wife, my newfound strength, motivation and inspiration have allowed that aforementioned maelstrom to manifest itself and blossom into Toni. 

Toni is the face of my lifelong struggles with gender identity. I have now accepted that Toni is as much a part of me as my own limbs.  Trying to purge Toni from my life may as well be as impossible as discarding my own arms and/or legs.  I have also come to realize that I am not alone. There are others with similar, if not
identical, situations and feelings as my own.

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